As of October 1st 2007, this site is stale! Instead, visit for updates. Also, please update your bookmarks and RSS feeds.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Is it possible for a submissive to ever be truly polyamorous?

Here's a question I have been pondering for a long time: How can a submissive reconcile the desire to be with multiple partners (not necessarily simultaneously, but rather enjoy polyamorous relationships) when they also desire to be owned by one of them. This is a seemingly contradictory statement but it is something that has come up (again) today in a conversation with a close friend.

Too much of the issue is personal to the point that I am unprepared to write about it in detail, but I do want to say that I am really curious about people's opinions, if they have them.


YesssMistress said...

My boy use to date both me and a friend of mine but he couldn't do it for long. He broke up with one of us and it wasn't me.

darren said...

Yes, this can be contradictory, but there are ways of making it work.

For me, I am a slave and ultimately owned by my Owner. However, with her permission and under whatever guidelines she gives me, I am allowed to pursue other relationships, so long as the other person understands the level of control my Owner holds over me. The other person then has the ability to either accept that or not, but they will not play a dominant role in my life, that role is taken.

I cannot imagine a situation of feeling owned by more than one person, that doesn't feel like something I could make work. But love someone else, as an equal or in some other arrangement, absolutely.


maymay said...

To YesssMistress: I'm glad for your sake that your boy is still with you. I'm sorry to hear that the shared relationship could not last. But that is not always a bad thing.

To darren: It's heartening to hear that such a thing is possible! Thank you for sharing that with me. I am, of course, interested in more about your situation but I don't want to press the issue. I have always believed it possible, but much of my experience centers around very top/bottom (S&M/pain and sensation only) relationship dynamics. The Dominance and submission is relatively new to me, and as a result I am finding it hard to...compartmentalize (if that's even the appropriate word, which I doubt) my mind in ways that my emotions feel are "okay." My submission interferes with the opportunities and the emotions of wanting to share experiences with other people than my Mistress, and at other times those emotions conflict with my submission. I dislike both cases.

We will see how things develop, now that opportunity is more ample....