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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Teasing, Denial, and Orgasm Control Games on Erotic Humiliation

I should probably not have spent this long browsing the 'net for hot things to read, but I'm glad I did, because tonight I came across badbob's excellent article on where he discusses his take on Teasing, Denial and Orgasm Control Games. As he says in the prelude to the article, there's a ton of written material out there that discuss the games themselves, but very few that discuss the psychology behind and attraction to playing such games.

He clearly (and, I think, accurately) describes all the types of chance games a dominant can play with a chastised submissive, provides some classic examples, and--best of all--nails down exactly why it is that each type of game is a turn on. However, even though I understand the obvious application this has to chastity regimes, why stop there? Badbob writes:

There is a sort of philosophical background that we must assume in these games, and while your individual mileage may vary, here is where I cum from, and where I think the vast majority of players will fit. The idea is that reward is sexual release, an orgasm for the male.

I wonder if such games and ultimately any other activity with a similar psychological effect can't be used for other things in a D/s relationship besides "merely" orgasm control or playful teasing. I would love to introduce such additional elements of playful "rulemaking" into my relationship, for more than a single reason. Badbob notes that:

As mentioned before, these sorts of games allow the Mistress to remain seductive and sensual and in a sense to “pretend” that it really isn’t up to her. She can even encourage him with remarks like “I really hope you get lucky tonight, I want to feel you in me.” Or feign hurt and disappointment if he has drawn the wrong card or made the wrong roll of the dice, as if it were somehow his own fault.

For longer-term scenes, such as those that involve extended orgasm denial and erotic teasing, games like the one he describes have the potential to ease a heavy burden from the dom who otherwise needs to maintain the image of ultimate control. That can be hard or nearly impossible for me to do on a long-term basis, and I bet it's not easy even for the most hard-core "true" dominant out there, so it makes sense that such strategies for play have become popular.

However, why not consider such games in more applications than just chastity training. Why not use them in other parts of a D/s relationship where a reward isn't necessarily an orgasm, but something else that the submissive wants. I can imagine a reward for me being permitted to purchase a new pair of panties (for either myself or my girlfriend), or better yet, a new sex toy for us to use. That example touches on what some might consider a more extreme form of control, where impulse purchases are discouraged in a relationship, but how many times have you heard married couples arguing over just such financial matters?

Anyway, it's just a thought, and it may be silly one, but part of the whole point of this exploration is to come up with newly exciting ideas. I like the ideas of these games mostly because they are (supposed to be) imposed, their rules are things I would adhere to because that's what my Mistress would want me to do. It's the control I love most. The details of the game's rules are a distant second. Badbob's article articulated that very nicely, and that's why it got my attention.

Another less typical but equally arousing example is summarized by saying that what's important is obeying her schedule, whether that means chastity or orgasm. Either way, what she says, goes.

1 comment:

Mrs. Claudia said...

I have just come across your blog and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I will be reading through some of your other posts. I am sure you will hear more from me!! Take care, MrsClaudia