REDIRECTED TO MAYBEMAIMED.COM: Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed

Richard over on Femdom Blogs poses a question that has been on my mind for quite a while now. Specifically, have you ever drunk, done drugs, or otherwise been in an altered state as part of a BDSM scene? If so, did the intoxicant enhance or diminish the experience?

Two years ago my answer would have been a sharp, "No! Never!" Nowadays, however, I have to say that yes, I have. Back then, of course, I was also harshly against the notion of intoxicants or medications of any kind. I still don't even take Tylenol when I've got a headache. I never liked the idea of putting things into my body that would somehow change or alter my so-called "normal" reactions to stimuli. No matter that these changes might have been desired (I certainly enjoy a good buzz now and again these days), they were not my reactions, and so I shunned them.

However, this thinking has changed. It now surprises me how unbreachable a wall the BDSM community at large has created around the notion of intoxicants. This is not surprising, however, as there are certainly a great many dangers that such things bring. The mantra of "safe, sane and consensual" is often interpreted to mean that intoxicants of any kind were not involved in a scene, a negotiation, or even a fantasy. But I think this is a decidely restrictive view.

In other subcultures, using artificial substances as part of sex is actually the norm. Is it really just of me to judge that activity as immoral or unethical? After some thinking, I had to say no. An altered state is just that, altered, but that does not necessarily mean it is one with less self-awareness or foreknowledge of the consequences.

Furthermore, I know that for many people, myself included, controlled substances play a significant role in certain fantasies. Putting the all-too-often terrible reality (IMHO caused by a lack of self-control and self-awareness, which is another issue entirely) aside for a moment, it's nothing if not very, very sexy to think of getting drunk and then being taken advantage of.

Looking back on my experiences with just such scenes, a few things have been consistent during what I'd call my "better" scenes:

• I was never so drunk or otherwise incapacitated so as not to be able to respond to my partner, either physically or emotionally. Being passed out is just no fun for anyone, but being buzzed can give us both a nice thrill.


• We never played with anything specifically dangerous while intoxicated, such as knives, needles, or other forms of play that require precise motor control. Obviously, physical safety always comes first.


• While playing, I (the bottom) am always more trashed than she (the top) is. I think this is because being slightly handicapped is what makes the game fun for the bottom while being handicapped is not exactly a benefit for the top. It's easier to subdue someone who's drunk, rather than subdueing someone while drunk.


• If we are playing with such intoxicants, we always give ourselves much more time to recover than otherwise. This means almost all of this sort of play has been done on Friday or Saturday nights, when we didn't have to work the next day. Again, common sense is the best guide.